I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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