she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
