Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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