Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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