barbara walters just said penis...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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