I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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