There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize