This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
