My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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