nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
