pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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