you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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