So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
