I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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