Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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