@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
