I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize