she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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