I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He better not be in your backpack
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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