so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
