Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
