this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Randomize
