Your face is a jimmy john
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
