I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Houston, we have a blender
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
