the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
