Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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