Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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