So drunk, too bad you don't want this
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
