so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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