I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
