the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i barfeds in our rink
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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