oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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