dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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