My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
