Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We don't watch enough power rangers
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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