That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
