do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
