My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
