I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
