i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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