you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
party gras won. party gras always wins.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
