So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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