chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
