last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
