I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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