So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
