Can i not drive my cunt home
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
