I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
