At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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