I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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