actually, I'm a sock model
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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