so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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