I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
