he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
