i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize