Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
