i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
