Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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