she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
