i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize