i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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