Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
