I want to make a zoo with you.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
