no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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