All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
