I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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