My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
This house was built for laser tag.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I need a hoe opinion
go on
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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